I feel that I have been growing apart from people around me. Probably it's because I don't know what I want anymore. I feel like I have been living in my own world for too long, I have lost touched to the real world outside. I was once a girl who was sure of what she wants and how she wants things to turn out; then she's determined to get them or get them done. I was very ambitious and clear-headed. I just feel like I am not doing the right thing at the moment. That's why I need a job. I need to get in touch with new people, new ideas and new environment. My social network needs to expand. Having a Masters degree or learning a new language don't seem to satisfy me enough now because knowledge seems to be like something that I can buy. However, life experience and crisis management are something that I can only learn from meeting more people and accepting new challenges. This is exactly what I need in my life right now.
You see, blogging can help me clear my thoughts a lot. I first started saying I don't know what I want anymore, now, just at the end of one paragraph, I have a solution to my problem. What can I do without blogging. C'mon to people who stopped blogging or thought blogging's a bad idea. I mean, if you are scared that people read your stuff, you can just blog privately to yourself, ie. keep a diary.
I guess I have been watching too much Gossip Girl lately. Even if Chuck Bass can change, better himself and move on from his "lack of focus in life" old self, I am sure I can do that too. YES, tv shows can be inspirational sometimes. It always depends on which angle you look at things.
Time to hit the sack.
Love,
Christy
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