alright. I am back to blogging. I feel like I should stop hiding and do what I used to enjoy doing. I had been in misery for the past year. I started hating, criticising, nagging, complaining. I did all the negative things. I cried a lot. And even lately, I get into a mood swing really easily. I know that my work and my whole idea of planning the future are bringing me down a lot. I feel discouraged and vulnerable at times. My body aches all the time and my shoulders felt like they have thousand pounds of weight on them. I had a little angry monster inside me all these times.
Tonight I came home. Suddenly, the light in my room is a lot brighter. I asked if someone changed the lightbulb for me, and it was a "no". Maybe I have reached the end of the tunnel. I am beginning to see things in a brighter perspective. Who knows.
However, I do realize I cannot plan too far ahead and get paranoid when I am uncertain about things. I will take everything step by step. So right now, I need to get back in shape. Find an exercise buddy and work my ass off. Shake those body aches off. By then, I will probably feel way better about myself.
So, this blog won't be much a review blog of beauty / fashion anymore. Fashion is still a big passion of mine. I will never give that up. It's just there are so much more to life than just clothes and handbags. And I want to see myself change; stop being dependent on material things and be happy about making achievements.
I hope the little angry monster can go away forever. I want to be that happy carefree girl again. I want to smile big for him.