A night with food

It's a sunday today, the first Sunday after I quitted my last job. Everything happened so quickly. I was short noticed for almost a month. Started the new job right that Monday after. I was exhausted but at the same time, it was nice because I did not have to think about anything else. I was too tired to care. No wonder why people say work could numb a person. Yesterday, I was running here and there doing errands. I had a lot to do, so again, I did not have anytime to think.

Today, I was mostly just sitting in bed thinking about what happened in the last few weeks. This is probably the first time that I sat down and think about it. It seems like everything is falling into places, but I still have this feeling at the back of my mind. I don't feel happy. I don't feel good. I am sure it's not the financial issue, it's not about whether Herman loves me or not. I know I ought to do this for myself; if not, one day I will just break down completely and God knows what I would do. I was anxious all the time. Even though I am at peace now, I am not happy. Was I ever happy?

In the midst of drowning myself with sorrow, I decided to watch a movie: Julie & Julia. Two women who are so passionate about their cooking, their lives and everything around them. After a little session with Julie & Julia, my meatballs and mashed potato, I feel a tiny little bit better. Food is always comforting, yet I have been lacking appetit for anything else other than pasta or potato or skewers. Weird.

Anyways, it's 9:30 on Sunday night. A rainy night all to myself. and Life must go on....

Post Birthday

Best and worst birthday ever.

regret

I don't know if I have ever talked about my regret about my feather tattoo on my back. Anyhow, I always think it looks like a freaking banana, but I didn't know what to get to cover it up with. After 2 years of consideration, I have came to a conclusion that I want a rose with a lace bow underneath it. My appointment day is just 5 days away. I am super anxious. I don't know if I should really go ahead with this project since it's permanent. AND the tattoo is more visible since it's now in colour and it's a tiny little bit bigger. I don't want it to become my second regret. But I have done tons of research on this and I have faith in my tattoo artist that he is going to make it right for me.


Sorry mom. Don't kill me for getting a cover up. I really hated my old tattoo. It's time to move on.